Although the situation in Haiti has been deteriorating for years, the level of current crises the country is facing is unprecedented. It is a complicated  web of perfect storms that is both difficult to grasp yet glaringly clear. Haiti fought for its independence and has been ostracized and penalized ever since.

The images I receive every day from our programs in the field where kids are playing, learning, laughing, and having fun with their friends are in stark contrast to the images from the explosive gang warfare that is happening in the capital and other parts of the country.

There is not one Haitian or person affiliated with Haiti who has not been touched by these crises. In the past week alone a relative of a staff member was kidnapped, a colleague was witness to a mass shooting, a friends husband who was a school superintendent took his own life, and my sister-in-law was forced to evacuate her home due to gangs taking over their whole neighborhood.

There is grief, fear, sadness and outrage over the complete lack of accountability to the systems that created this vacuum of leadership and impunity for criminal activity. There is a bracing for even harder times ahead as there is no easy way out and no end in sight.

Throughout the 20 years that I have been working and/or living in Haiti I chose to focus on the positive because I am fortunate to witness the real grassroots community efforts by so many wanting to make a difference.

I hear the fatigue in the voices of Haitians who were always optimistic and that is also heart breaking. The cries of when will there be real change, how can families live in these conditions?

What I hold on to is the hope of a brighter day, the commitment to do our part and the knowledge that we are a part of an outlet for hundreds of kids who otherwise would not have that outlet.

Haitians deserve better. One of our international partners recently told me “our hearts are there” and we will continue to hold Haiti in our hearts. And we ask, what will it take to end this cycle of suffering?